I am Walter and this is my World.

I am Walter and this is my World.

Saturday, December 18, 2010

My darling, wonderful, most wanted, loved and adored peeps.


This is a picture I took from my Key West desk, while writing (my very important) manuscript #4. I ask you - what are my chances of putting the writing first? Um....none? Pug first (note his mournful, disdainful, corrective gaze) and book  - far second (even though it will be here after we're both long gone)  Even my editor suspects the lineup.

So this is to say, we made it to Key West again, which as you know became out PUG HAVEN last year, when I had the movie-worthy freak-out and shouted (to no one)  "ENOUGH! I CAN'T WATCH THAT PUG SLIP ONE MORE TIME ON THE FREAKING ICE! WE'RE DRIVING TO KEY WEST! WEATHER, LOGIC AND COMMON SENSE BE DAMNED!"

And then I politely, with a remarkable amount of poise, graciousness and finesse (otherwise known as fear and loathing) high-tailed it through every hideous ice storm, blizzard, freezing rain storm an un-nameable yet very real weather condition the universe saw to throw at us. It was a bad idea, coupled with a nervous driver, a for-the-moment crippled pug and an excessive amount of luggage.

NEVERTHELESS. We made it.

As we made it again this year despite a freakish throat infection that required sudden medical treatment. WHY do I look at these various challenges as taunts from a bully universe? Each unpredictable, strange and uncomfortable element appears to me as a dare. "What if we make your car emit weird noises? During an ice storm? What if we remove all non-scary hotels and chuck hail AND snow at you simultaneously? What if we put a tailgater on your butt for fifty miles, and you're in Arkansans, where you could kill him and get away with it?"

I say to each and every..."Oh yeah? Is that all you got?"

 I look at the above photo - a picture of walter watching me work and I stop. I think about what a miracle, what a stupid, strange, unlikely  miracle, sheer FREAKING MIRACLE it is that this dog is even alive, let alone with me. Traveled twice now all the way to Florida. Bad foot? You bet. Limps? All the time. Were we unlucky? In spades. Did a miracle happen? You God Damn bet it did. Is the shoe permanent? No. Maybe. I don't know.  I don't care. He's here. We can live with a shoe. Take the look of pity somewhere else. We're the luckiest people we know.


Shoe goes on, shoe comes off. I answer concerned passerby's constantly. To the point of exhaustion.
"He got hit by a Lexus SUV. Now he wears a shoe. But he's doing really good. He's a trooper. A soldier. He's okay. He made it. We're just glad he's here. He made it. " And I see these people, strangers, who maybe now number in the thousands, and who look at him and smile. They go on, they go off. They take the idea of perseverance with them. It is always, always, always a look of recognition.

Tonight I looked at Walter and I thanked him. I said, "If we're all sentient beings here on planet earth and we're all connected,and weaving our own destinies,  then thank you. For picking me. If it's all random and you're just a dog, well hell. You're still one good egg. Here's to you and me and the lemon balm plant. We rock." (I bought a lemon balm plant a few days ago, which suffered greatly in the sun, and I revived it this morning with soothing words and distilled water...identifying with it's fragile nature and weak constitution, making me absurdly attached to it.)

I'm starting to believe humans are at the bottom end of the evolutionary ladder. The self-centered rung caught up with worry. When we're done with that...when we're ready to turn our lives over to the healing of others...we become animals. Cats, dogs, canary's, pugs....creatures with an unlimited supply of unconditional love. True powerhouses. Limitless understanding, Creatures who have dedicated themselves to giving. To the rest of us. To you. To me. What else explains it?

From becoming dogs I don't know what happens. I drank some tequila to find out - and thought maybe we move to plants and then soil and then stone...and then I don't know, because it's outside my intelligence, but I believe as we progress we become more and more able to love, to care for, to heal. SO. My twitter tonight was this:

I just realized. It's all backwards. Intelligence is only ego. True power is unconditional Love. Upshot? The dogs win.

It's the best I could do, in a small effort to say thank you to you  - the wonderful souls out there in the dark, Who we think of daily, and love always and who are never ever far from our thoughts. And to Walter, A spirit I can never properly thank, to whom I will always be grateful. Why I was shown such grace, I do not know. Why the universe chose to bring this odd/beautiful experience into our lives, I'll never quite grasp.
Love, love LOVE to each of you. Viva el Pug, el girl and el Lemon Balm Plant. Screw you, bad luck. You don't even know where we live anymore.

15 comments:

C.l.o.v.e.r. said...

Hi Heather! What a great post. :)
We love you too!
xo

Pearl and Daisy said...

Wonderful post! You made Mommy's eyes moisties.

We love you guys!

Pug love from,
Pearl & Daisy

Tweedles -- that's me said...

We have been with you all the way,, and we continue to be right beside you..
Your words , so deep, they touched us,,
we love you too, we love Walter..
love
tweedles

Stella, Gunther and Betty said...

Heather, this is such a beautiful and heartfelt post. Thank you for sharing it with us.

Love,
Shannon and the Smushies

Sequoia & Petunia said...

Love the way you think!

Hugs to sweet Walter and the lemon balm plant!!

Wilma said...

Love this post! You and Walter have taught us and many others a boatload about love, comitment and staying the course, in all kinds of weather. We wish you continued love, health and togetherness throughout thenseason and into the new year. Go Walter!

Dana Orsborn said...

Hi Heather!

Daisy and I loved reading this post.
We hope you have a great Holiday!

-Dana & Daisy

Yoda, Brutus & Ellie said...

Just a wonderful post!!

We love you guys too!!!!!

Pugs & Kisses,

Yoda, Brutus & Ellie

Melissa and Emmitt said...

dear heather and walter

what a beautiful post!

Merry Merry christmas to both of you!

xoxoxo
m & e

The Devil Dog said...

I think you hit the nail on the head. Unconditional love is the answer. Walter is such a trooper, cutie, love, but then, you are the one who would not give up on him. So, pat yourself on the back, enjoy your sunshine, we're expecting 12-18 inches of snow. And I don't have to go out in it. Woo hoo!

Roxy & Mom

PS Merry Christmas, Happy Holiday, and Happy New Year

Two Pugs in a Pod said...

xoxoxoxox

Apollo said...

Awww, what nice words...Walter is very lucky to have a Mom as great as you. You're the one that has been there for him and helped him get through it all. You both make a perfect pair. I hope your 2011 brings more happiness and success and more miracle healing for Walter.

Manda and Oisín x said...

Hey Walter...me and my mummy are new followers to your blog.
We just wanted to drop by and say hi.
You really are an inspiration

Love
Oisín
x

Helping Hand said...

Nice blog! Check mine out!!

The Devil Dog said...

Walter

Do you want some visitors?

Roxy