I should like a fancy hat, please.

I took Walter to the fancy pet store so we could get him something festive to wear for the neighborhood block party. I wanted him to wear something "jubilant" and he gave me a look as if to say, "I just better damn well not look like an idiot."

After perusing the sporty cowboy kerchiefs and new rhinestone-studded fashion leashes, Walter chose this winsome hat, and when I put it on him, he became so goofy-happy it was like he was channeling Doris Day.

He drove all the way home in his new hat and then trotted down to the party, where he learned be-dazzle the children with the spinner while stealing chicken wings and cupcakes off their paper plates.